Destroy and Rebuild

Instability. The earth I’m standing on has lost its hold. In attempts to regain my footing, I sink deeper into the mire of madness below. My edifice, a fortress I thought sound and indestructible, reveals my folly. A structure is only as good as its base . Only one solution suffices – destroy and rebuild.

Untamed and stubborn, the beast fights – a phoenix with an inner fire so potent that it serves only to consume its host. Consumed I must be. For this phoenix am I. Shiva, your dance must come to pass – destroy and rebuild.

Invisible threads that connect and bind, they pull me away from the sun. Yearning for the warmth of the light, fate wills this period of darkness. Winter falls, and dormant my heart becomes. Outstretched and ambitious, my roots find preservation lies in patience. Biding and withering, my heart remembers – destroy and rebuild.

Published in: on September 14, 2010 at 2:13 am  Leave a Comment  

Chapter III

Fresh spring air gently brushed Jack’s face as the field behind the Gasten Hosiery factory ushered in the light breeze. The tall grassy field was one of the few plots of land left undeveloped in the wake of the population boom that built Burlington. First brought upon by the railroads and then brought again by the factories, the small town’s hustle was becoming all for naught.  The Gasten factory was a one of the few remaining relics of a time of economic success that was starting to wane in the quieting North Carolina town.

Jack looked out at the golden strands which waved gently back and forth, a metronome to his peaceful escape. He fiddled through his pockets until he fished out a silver lighter which had belonged to his grandfather or great grandfather – Jack never really knew; he never met either of them. The etched initials of his lost relative were no longer legible, scratched and worn from the generations before his birth. As he flipped the silver heirloom open, the cigarette between his teeth clicked to life. He sat, leaning against the brick wall of the factory as he continued to watch the vacant field as the sunlight lit up its dancing fibers. When his cigarette ran its course, he stamped out the bud as he stood up and rounded the corner to the front of the factory; this was how he spent his break each day. He found it extremely surreal, a simple escape from the business that chimed behind the factory’s heavy metal employee entrance door.

Yet today, Jack needed this break more than anything. The usual racket that on any other day would explode from behind the soundproof door was reduced to a mere hum. Instead, the real clamor was that which echoed across the parking lot from outside the factory fence. The employees that brought the busy Gasten hive to life were buzzing to a different tune; the strike was spreading like a epidemic.

Jack crossed the work floor which was sparsely littered with a couple dozen of Gasten’s most loyal employees. He knocked on the door of Frank’s office as he entered. Frank was leaning over his desk holding the phone to his hear, motioning with his hand and mouthing “hold on” to Jack as he entered.  Jack looked around the small cluttered room. Frank may have kept his home and other affairs neat and tidy at the Gasten Ranch, but his office was quite the opposite. Manilla folders littered the desk some closed and piled up high while others sat wide open, papers overlapping so much that a stranger to the chaos wouldn’t know one set of papers from the other. Amongst all of the madness, a photo of Frank, his brother Scott who had passed some years ago from a car accident, and his father sat, seemingly being used as a paper weight.  Jack who had been lost in thought as he studied the office was jarred back to consciousness when Frank slammed the phone down.

“That lawyer boy Wilson is stirring this all up,” Frank said agitatedly, “he is the son of Red Sutherland. Leave it up to that bastard to bring trouble to our door.”

“Who was on the phone?” Jack said as he took a seat across from Frank who still leaned over his desk, supporting himself now with both arms.

“One of our corporate amigos,” Frank said with a sarcastic flare in his voice, “they said if we can’t settle this before our next scheduled shipment, they are going to pay some overseas yahoos to fill their orders. And they aren’t the only ones who graced me with a phone call this morning.”

“So the factory, without our biggest customers we will –“

“This building will become another rotting piece of crap littering the town,” Frank said.

They both sat in silence for a moment. Frank finally collapsed into his chair and began rubbing his forehead.

“Wilson Sutherland is coming by around noon so he can ‘represent the working class’,” Frank said mockingly, “Nearly 20 years my family has run this place, and now we are going to lose it to some hot shot out of law school.”

The phone rang before Jack could respond. Both men looked at it, Frank’s face full of fatigue. He got up to leave the room.

“You take over for awhile, I need to rest for a  few,” Frank said as he made for the door. Jack answered the phone. Before Frank could even get one foot through the door, he heard Jack calling him back to the warfront.

“Wilson is going to be early,” Jack said, “the security guard wants to know how you want to handle the situation at the gates”.  Frank stared for a moment looking down at the floor. He looked up as if to accept he wasn’t going to catch much of a break that day.

Present

The morning sun that Jack had welcomed earlier in the day had been replaced by the afternoon one whose blaze was not strong enough to break the January chill in the air. He looked at his watch and noticed it was half past noon. He had spent the morning walking around the downtown sidewalks, getting a warm shave at the barber shop, and grabbing a warm coffee from a diner as he returned to the park bench where he had started that morning. He checked his watch again as if to make sure it was not playing tricks on him before he rose again from the bench and walked down the street.

Jack finally stopped near a payphone just outside of the diner he had coffee hours earlier. Reaching into the shelf under the phone, he was disappointed to discover there was no phonebook present. He peered into the crevice to assure his hands told no lie and was greeted by the emptiness within. Surrendering to his circumstances, Jack strolled into the diner and sat at the counter.  Joy, the waitress who served Jack his coffee earlier, made her way down towards him, stopping once to provide syrup to a young boy who was enjoying a quite late breakfast. He smiled as the shimmering, dark liquid neatly travelled through the canyons of his waffle, pouring over the edge of the golden brown plateau onto the white plate below.

Finally making it to Jack, he exchanged quick pleasantries with her before requesting to see a phone book. She made her way near the cash register which lay on the other end of the bar. Jack studied her – more specifically the unnatural jet-black hue of her tight ponytail which Jack had concluded must be dyed. Joy returned with the big yellow phone book and plodded it on the counter. Jack peeled back its pages, quickly at first and then with diligent care as he neared the end of his search. Finally he found it. He fished out an old receipt from his coat pocket along with a pen, the end of which was worn by chew marks. He scribbled the number down and went back outside to the pay phone. It rang a couple times, and then there was an answer.

July 1977

Jack was not aware of the cold, impersonal touch of the metal table he rested upon until he was awoken by the sound of the door to the holding room. Hours of questioning with Detective Garrison had left him quite fatigued. Maintaining a truth is much more effortless than maintaining a life – especially to do it well. Jack could tell, despite the integrity of his act, Garrison was not quite satisfied; the man was clearly good at his job. The last few hours had proven to be a battle of wits, and neither seemed ready to surrender his charge; however, the Gasten’s had arrived to visit Jack providing him with the recess he so desperately needed. Garrison had gone off to get coffee though Jack half suspected he would soon return to his post behind the mirrored window; he had noted it earlier when he requested to use the bathroom during questioning.

Eve was the first to burst through the door. She rushed Jack and embraced him tightly. Jack had only been detained for less than a day, but he could tell the circumstances were wearing on his beloved wife. Despite her dismay, Jack could not help but notice a certain radiance about her. Behind Eve followed Emile and J.P., Eve’s adolescent brother, both of whom were glad to see him though it was hard to tell with J.P. who had yet to shake off his morning stupor. It had been 8 hours since Jack had turned himself in the previous night. It was unbeknownst to Jack that the Gasten’s had been waiting to since shortly after his arrest. No one had partaken in a good night’s sleep. Frank was the last to enter the room.

Jack’s suspicions of Garrison and the ominous mirrored glass were not far off. About five minutes after the Gasten’s arrived for their visit, Garrison returned to his vigil from behind its veil. Though he desired so dearly to know what was being said, the law protected the privacy of the Gasten’s during their visit; thus, Garrison strained to lip read, a task he quickly gave up. Instead he studied each family member carefully. He may not have been a good lip reader, but his proficiencies in deciphering the subtleties of body language made up for this deficiency.

Like a hound dog on a hunt, Garrison sniffed out his quarry. Of all the family members in the room, Frank Gasten was the only one who appeared unseemly. Though he had never met the man, Garrison could tell Gasten was not himself. The man appeared sickly as if a great ailment had befallen him; yet, this was something that could easily be attributed to lack of sleep or a seasonal bug. No, it was not his sickliness that Garrison was drawn to – it was something else. It was the look in his eyes, a heavy look. Garrison had seen it before. It was the composure of a man bearing a guilty conscience. Garrison had caught his scent, and he much intended to pursue it.

Published in: on January 16, 2010 at 6:05 am  Leave a Comment  

Chapter II

July 1977

Detective Garrison sat behind the mirrored glass of the holding room watching his new suspect carefully. Well known statewide for his expertise in cracking the case, he had never in his life been puzzled so deeply by the man that sat in the room before him.  He looked through the case file again looking for some small detail to support his intuitions. The fingerprints, the lack of witness accounts, the bruises – all of the evidence pointed to one conclusion.

He placed the file down on the table and entered the holding room.  The suspect’s brown eyes stayed fixed on the dark gray table in front of him. Garrison followed his glance to the table and found himself too drawn to it like a magnet. The dark gray table he remembered when he first started his job had changed more than he had realized. The once glossy, plastic surface was now worn and stained all over. Garrison scanned the table and stopped at a rather noticeable blood stain at the edge of the table. It was a few minutes before he realized the man that sat before him was now looking up at him. There was a gentle calm in his eyes that caught the detective off guard. A suspect, even an innocent one, had never been so serene under such circumstances. Garrison cleared his throat as he sat down in front of the man.

“It’s Jack isn’t it?” Garrison said as he pulled some pictures out from his jacket pocket. Jack nodded silently. “Well it seems you’ve found yourself a young lawyer to beat up on.”

Jack still sat silently, his eyes fixed upon the detective. Garrison paused for a moment, fishing for some sort of reaction from the man.

“Four broken ribs, a fractured wrist, a collapsed lung,” Garrison said as he placed pictures of a young with injuries matching the description, “Not to mention all sorts of bruises. You gave this guy and old fashioned beating.” Jack remained silent. His gaze remained unbroken even when the detective had placed the photographs on the table in front of him. Garrison continued, “You did everything to this man except put him out of his misery, Jack. So you mind telling me what this bastard did to deserve such an ordeal?”

Jack’s gaze broke from the detective as he took in a deep breath. He looked at the mirror behind the detective, his eyes fixed on his own reflection.  He began speaking softly, “You aren’t from ‘round here are yah?”

Garrison paused for a moment before he answered, “From North Carolina? I am from out west – Nevada to be precise.”

“Whereabouts in Nevada?” Jack asked. Garrison didn’t answer right away. He had exchanged in word games like this with criminals of all sorts; however, something was different about this. The man wasn’t deflecting, diverting, or even deceiving. He seemed to genuinely want to know the answers to his questions.

“Las Vegas,” Garrison answered, “I started my career at their violent crimes unit.”

Jack smirked slightly, “Sin City, eh? I’ve heard all sorts of things about that place. A friend of mine’s brother came back broker than this fellow’s ribs.” Jack picked up one of the photos on the table, examining it closely. He placed his hand under his chin and gazed at the photo. There was a faint hint of fatigue in his eyes.

Garrison studies him carefully. Most criminals, in spite of any guilt they might have always display a slight hint of pride in their handiwork. This man is one of two things, Garrison thought to himself: a lunatic or an innocent. Garrison had encountered men who carried on like Jack had been acting. A young boy, 17 in fact, sat in that chair not too long ago. He was a murderer of the serial kind. In his heyday, he killed five women, all in their old age, and all of whom died from strangulation. When Garrison finally got to interrogating him, the boy just sat there with a peaceful detachment. He denied the crimes convincingly, and, if there wasn’t overwhelming hard evidence against him, any jury in their right minds might have just let him walk. Garrison knew there was no such thing as a good liar. Something about people in general, he decided, caused whatever veil of innocence they might hide behind to crumble like a tower of playing cards whenever they brought themselves to lie; however, this boy was an exception. His innocence was always protecting him because some twisted reality within him brought him to know with all his being that he didn’t kill those women – so detached from the world it was as if he wasn’t even a part of it. Could Jack be just like that boy?

May 1997

The fan in the morning lit bedroom buzzed loudly, clicking between rotations like a metronome conducting the flow of time; however, time seemed to have all but stopped to Jack who starred in awe at the sea of azure shimmering before him. For ingenious as he was, Jack chose the right side of their queen-size bed so that, when he and Eve were to awake, the sun light would hit her ocular gems at the perfect angle. He needed no alarm to wake him for the electrifying gaze of his wife was enough to power him through even the strongest chains of fatigue; however, the alarm clock was quite necessary for, without it, he would be much too lost in his day dream to make it to work on time.

As much to his dismay as this harbinger of reality was, Jack enjoyed the morning routine on Eve’s family’s ranch that it sent in motion. The Gasten land was full of many buildings: a barn, a shed, a garage, a greenhouse, and, but of course, Frank and Emile Gasten’s house. Yet, the structure on the 40 acre lot that was of particular mention these days was the new home that stood parallel across the driveway from the Gasten home. Much like its predecessor, the beautiful, two-story, white house was built from top to bottom by Frank Gasten himself. With Jack’s help along with other men to help expedite the process, this was the newlywed’s place of residence along with their favorite wedding gift.

The close proximity of the two homes allowed for part of this morning routine Jack enjoyed so much to include breakfast at his in laws every morning at 6:30 sharp. Emile’s breakfast pastries were legendary for taste as she was previously the daughter of a French baker. She immigrated to the United States prior to the Second World War; it was not until years later that she would meet Frank in a New York City subway station.

That morning as Jack got dressed for work, Eve went next door to help her mother prepare breakfast as per usual. When Jack arrived to the kitchen next door, he was not entirely shocked to see Frank had not made it back yet. Every morning Frank would go into town to pick up a cup of coffee from his favorite diner and to get the day’s paper. His arrival time back to the breakfast table was dependent entirely upon who engaged Frank in conversation that morning at the diner. That day he must have been enjoying quite a quality conversation for it was almost five till seven which was considerably late for Frank.

They heard the engine of the truck as it pulled in for it made a quite distinct and erratic hissing sound from time to time. Frank had the engine looked at by all sorts of mechanics, all of whom agreed the noise was no consequence of any damage or defect. Frank was content with this for he liked the sort of distinction it gave. The family did not look up from their plates as they heard the familiar foot falls on the porch outside for they had all started eating without him. Only Emile glanced at the door preparing her stern face to scorn her husband’s tardiness. Her face softened and quickly turned to surprise as a crazed Frank rushed through the door, making a beeline past the table to the next room. Emile was so caught off guard by his bizarre behavior she had gotten the scolding she meant to give when he returned minutes later.

The family sat for quite some time in silence before a word was uttered. Eyes glanced up at each other as if they were drawing straws as to who would question the quite disturbed Frank. Emile conceded from the eye games when she finally spoke up.

“Frank? Is everything alright?” Her voice, despite the many years living in the States and speaking English, still had a distinct French accent to it.

He looked up from his scrambled eggs noticing for the first time the anticipation from the family. He looked down at this plate again before he finally spoke, “They are on strike.”

Published in: on July 21, 2009 at 9:01 pm  Leave a Comment  

Chapter I

The cold air hovered above the quiet streets of Burlington the day Jack went to the park. The streets were always quiet it seemed; it was a ghost town, in the figurative sense. The only economy the town seemed to hold on to was the college nearby. It was a small college, but well enough in its own. Even when class was in session, the roads in town would be as dead as the pavement it was made of come ten o’clock. The grey overcast skies indicated that January had arrived in North Carolina. The soft morning light seemed to accent Jack’s warm breath that steamed like a cigarette’s smoke. Jack seemed a part of the scenery that day. His dark trench coat, deep navy gloves, and dark brown boaters would have made him seem as nothing more than an augmentation in the park bench on which he sat if it were it not for his light khaki pants.

On top of his lap, a large, brown-leathered book sat like a bible on a holy altar. To Jack, the book was as good as a bible. Every page was worth more than anything in the world to Jack. This book was a treasure of sorts. It held not the secrets to life nor was it appraisable by any currency of all the great nations. Jack was a man with nothing. Such a man is a rare man. This is because, for a man to truly have nothing, everything must first be taken away. Jack may have had a steady job, a flat on the second story of a decent apartment complex, and even good health for a man of his age; but, the everything he had lost had left nothing behind but a story. And, inside the thick, weatherworn cover, this story was preserved.

Jack took in a deep breath as he ran his hand along the spine. As he did so, it seemed a chill paralleled his stroke in his own spine. The book was a part of him. As he opened the book, any onlooker might be shocked to find that such a reverent looking tome would begin in a child’s scribble; for, on the very first page, youthful penmanship was wrought in purple crayon, and, under it, a picture of a girl on in a yellow dress was framed by scotch tape at the corners.

The little girl had a big smile on; it was just like any child’s smile; for, it is the only time in a man’s life when a forced smile bears just as much happiness behind it as the real thing. The little girl’s head seemed belittled by her long mess of brown hair that shot out in every direction from under the white helmet she wore on her head. The dark cascade covered her ears and on the side of her face stopped just soon enough so as to expose the dimples that reminded Jack of his wife. How could he forget the first time he saw those dimples? The first time he saw Eve he was about as bewildered by the charm of her dimples as he was by the electric blue eyes that shot him a glance giving off a feeling that reflected the voltage of her azure hue. He would have been ashamed that his brown eyes had muddied such a color in his daughter had the mixture not given birth to a more enchanting and elegant emerald green.

Jack looked up from the book at the park in front of him. It was still too early for mothers to bring their children to play; yet, the cool morning breeze caused one of the swings to sway. The rusty hinge caused a slight creak in the long, metal chain. His ears perked up at the noise as he became ever aware of his lonely circumstance. He poured back into the photograph. He analyzed the white helmet on his daughter’s head, a crown that served as a hallmark of the achievement from which he proud smile arose; for, in the grasp of her small hands, she held the handle bars of a small bicycle. In the background, the training wheels she had deserted that morning lay against the wall outside the garage. Sophia sat proudly with the mechanism under her. With one foot on the driveway and the other on top of the opposite pedal, her pink shorts gave show from under the edges of the yellow dress. Under the photograph, Jack ran his finger along the date in his own familiar handwriting. June 17, 1982. His eyes shot to the scribble above.

Deer Daddy,

Today mommy took of my trainy wheels. She told me she wants me to right a letter to my daddy. She says you are in jail. That makes me sad. She says I can’t meet you but I want to. She says its not a place to bring kids like me. When I am all grown up I want to meet you. She says you are not like the other bad mans in jail. I don’t get it because my teacher miss Emily says only bad mans go to jail. I love my mommy. She tells me stories about you. She says you once shot a grizzy bear to save her life. Take me camping one day. I love you daddy. Love, Sophia.

Jack remembered the first time he had read that letter. Eve had never really visited him often back then. It’s not that she didn’t love Jack; he was her life. Yet, between the pregnancy, the shifts at the restaurant, and Sophia after she was born, there never was much time left; and, when she did have it, the thought of facing the reality of Jack’s situation made her ill. Jack always knew how much she hated the jailhouse. The pale walls of the prison made her seem invisible when she did come; for, her fair skin was always quick to reflect the heart that pumped life through her veins. Jack could remember the first day she finally forced herself to come see him. She was eight months pregnant with Sophia; yet, for her small size, she could have fooled anyone into thinking she was bearing a whole litter. As she entered the room, she looked so like a ghost that, were she not wearing clothes, Jack thought she would be near invisible. His chuckle as her trembling hands held up the phone made her smile thinly. His laugh seemed to bid her blood to run again as her color returned. She always loved the deep bellows of his merriment. It always seemed infectious to those around him just like his boyish grin of a smile; however, Jack did not do much of either smiling or laughing anymore.

Eve had only visited Jack maybe three times since Sophia was born. They had decided long before the day the first letter came that Sophia would not be brought to the prison at her age. Eve brought him pictures from time to time, but, none of them were half as interesting as Jack had found this one to be; it was the same intensity with which he looked at it now that he had in his eyes the very first time he laid eyes on it. It was a look of admiration. It was a look of vulnerability. It was a look of guilt.

Guilt. That last one stung him the most; for, it was always his last thought when he saw her face. It was the guilt of a father who could not be there to support his daughter.

Published in: on January 29, 2009 at 2:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

Wilderness


I find myself amidst a wilderness of my own mental toil. The insomnia of my tattered heart beats sleepless anxiety through my very veins that branch out like trees so far into the sky of my being that it blocks my view with its dense foliage. I see not the sun or the stars to guide me out of my disarray. Instead, I live without the hope of hope of seeing a new day; for, I live day to day but the boundaries between these days seems as blurred as the very hands that attempt to lead me out of my imprisoning jungle. I know I reach the edge of my woodland purgatory, yet, my progress is hindered by a myriad of vines that grasp at my arms and legs dragging me back to the pain I try to escape. The trees whisper amongst each other bearing fates news; yet, tauntingly their foreign tongue cloaks the truth that I so seek; it is the answer that like a searing fire will wither the oppressive wild around me and bring ashy calm to the agony of my soul. Under this black snow, a new life will arise laden with new possibilities.

Published in: on January 12, 2009 at 4:57 am  Leave a Comment  

“Fevered Dreams”

Do I lie upon hot coals, for my dreams are not without fever? Or can one really call the tossing and turning of fate’s insomnia a fevered dream? For, my nightmares attack my conscious mind. My eyes need not be closed to experience indescribable torment; within me lies a host of ambiguous shrill cries. That which they cry about I could not say, yet, I am ever aware of my inner discord.

Upon the precipice, I face the storm head with eyes cast at the treacherous sea below me. The winds conjure the chill and salt-spray that penetrates my garments, making my flesh raw with pain. The seas thunders into the cliff face, making the foundations of earth seem at chaos’ disposal. I stare, eyes red from the salt water, looking for an answer to my toil. I wish only to be rejoining into the Earth from which I was cast; why will the waters not reduce me to the clay from which I was crafted? I have taken my place on my stone tablet where bent down prostrate to the earth I await that which I cannot discern. My nightmares are not a fear of the known, but a fear of this unknown catalyst forcing the slow burning of my soul.

Published in: on December 8, 2008 at 11:09 pm  Leave a Comment  

Meanderings of the Soul, Pt.3: Sandstorm

I find myself amidst a chaotic sandstorm of the soul, my spirit aching within a desert of solitude. Each grain of sand scrapes across my sunburned face like hot shrapnel from a wayward mortar shell. I am bombarded; and, just like sand, this torment doesn’t merely blow past, as impermanent as the wind. The pain instead scourges and buries me in its weight, building with time as its catalyst. I find myself blinded and rootless; I wander seeking shelter from the demon sky. My cries for help cannot be heard above the roar of Satan’s haze for my voice is drowned by the sand that invades my every cavity, making every breath heavier than the last. I stop and collapse. It is obvious that I must yield to pain now; however, the burning question on my mind remains: will I rise above the dune when the storm has lived its course? Or will I be consumed by the very monster I aimed to stand against? I close my eyes and wait.

Published in: on December 8, 2008 at 11:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

Meanderings of the Soul, Pt.2: Painkillers

As I trek down the crevice that life gravitates me downward forwards, I realize that somewhere along the way I have switched tracks. I never found the bottom of the trench that loomed over me beckoning my mind forward into its depths. Instead, I have unknowingly entered a wormhole, a portal. It’s funny how numbness in its incidence is unappreciated; for, until it is gone, one doesn’t realize the pain it aimed to mask. Despite the pain that increases as I progress upward with each step, I feel alive yet again; for, it is our capacity for pain that reminds are we are still human. It fuels a collective identity, a united hope. Each step becomes harder. The pain overtakes me. I fall. As every nerve ending seems like an erupting volcano spilling over with blazing turmoil, I feel the cool touch on my shoulder. I breathe a sigh of relief at the Painkillers intercession. They pick me up and carry me. I cannot rise without them. It is too much for man to weather alone. As I reach the crevice edge, they disappear from my side. The pain returns, but it is manageable. I pull myself to the summit.

Published in: on December 8, 2008 at 11:03 pm  Leave a Comment  

Meanderings of the Soul, Pt. 1: Numb

I’ve always walked down the hallway numb, getting from point A to point B, not even feeling each footstep on the ground. I’m just drifting like a head with no body, floating across empty space. The only thing is this hallway is life. All the bright walls and pretty pictures are just an illusion hiding the hollow and dark crevice that I walk into. But just like a bizarre painting at an art show, I am the man walking a vertical path. I am gravity’s slave pulling me downward yet never upward. Every hopeful attempt to resist and force my way upward only shows me how out of control I really am. My only pleasure in life seems to be discovering that every other person is cut from the same miserable slab I am. But far too often, I find the opposite is true. While I am walking down the crevice, they are walking up it. It leads me to believe that somewhere down there, when I finally find the bottom of my crevice I will find the same path they are on upwards. But there is no bottom, no way station between the fall and rise. There are only people who fall and rise. I am a writer; but, I do not write poetry, novels, or songs. I write lives, and my feet are my pen. And writers don’t feel their pen touch the paper. They only feel the mind behind the madness. They guide the footfalls but are separate from them. So arguably, I don’t live. For the I which I am referring to is not a part of the I people see. My body is my vessel. My mind is my being.

Published in: on December 8, 2008 at 11:02 pm  Leave a Comment  
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